Dear Mikezilla, 6/6/14 Edition

Back by popular demand is my own personal Q&A section, based on one of the newspaper greats Dear Abby, feel free to ask me anything, and if your lucky you will get hit by lightning and I’ll answer your questions, game related or otherwise. You can ask in the comments, on tapped-out.co.uk or even on twitter using my account @supermikeio. As always if your question is chosen you will gain fame for all of time, and some of my infinite wisdom!

Dear Abby: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes our breakfast — still in the buff. We’re newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there’s really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? —Ed
Dear Ed: It’s O.K. with me. But tell her to put on an apron when she’s frying bacon.

This weeks first question comes from tapped-out.co.uk site member darrenhill760. He asks:

Well Darren, thanks for the most specific, and detailed laden question I’ve ever received. I mean it’s not like your posing as a scientist or anything. I took his question as a challenge and flew all the way to Norfolk to ask the experts from the Bow Band string company.

The trip required 70 helicopters to carry me and cost up words of $470 million, but it was all worth it to answer Darren’s vague question. The most common answer is two times the distance from the mid point to the end, but personally I am with the camp that the average length is 14ft, or as I call it floss.

Next up is a question from my Twitter follower @chuckyc78, who seems like a decent fellow to follow despite his obviously having to much time on his hands.

Most folks think the answer is so he could afford Lisa’s pony, but the truth is far different. He actually just needed a discount on snacks as you can see on my picture below.

The final question comes from my landlord, and he asks: Dear Mikezilla, when are you going to pay your rent?

Thats a great question Percy, and I will pay up as soon as I get my first royalty cheque from my lucrative TSTO blogging career.

Looking Back: Homer the Great

Hi guys!

This is usually the post where I look back at episodes and write about them. I will usually write a summary of what we could get at the end. However, this episode is based on the stonecutters, an event which came out yesterday. I will not do that at the end.

Homer notices that his colleagues Lenny and Carl are enjoying inexplicable privileges such as free soft drinks, massage chairs, and great parking spots at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. He discovers they are part of an ancient secret society known as the Stonecutters. To join, one must either be the son of a Stonecutter or save the life of a Stonecutter. Homer complains about not being let in and reveals to Marge his past experience being excluded from clubs: when he was young, a group of children formed the “No Homers Club” and did not allow him to join. While extolling the Stonecutters at the dinner table, he discovers that his father is a member and is admitted.

After the painful and humiliating initiations required to join the Stonecutters, which is made up of many of the male characters on the show, Homer takes great pleasure in the society’s secret privileges, such as an underground byway bypassing Springfield’s traffic jams, drinking bouts and free rollerblades (in order to get from the parking lot to his workplace faster). During a celebratory rib dinner with his fellow Stonecutters commemorating the society’s 1500th anniversary, he unwittingly uses the society’s Hallowed Sacred Parchment as a napkin, tissue and cotton swab, destroying it. He is stripped of his Stonecutter robes and is sentenced to walk home naked dragging the “stone of shame”. Before he leaves, however, it is discovered that Homer has a birthmark in the shape of the Stonecutter emblem, identifying him as the Chosen One who, it was foretold, would lead the Stonecutters to greatness.

Homer is crowned the new leader of the Stonecutters. Initially enjoying himself, Homer soon feels isolated by his power when the other members treat him differently due to his new position, and asks Lisa for advice. She suggests that he ask the Stonecutters to do volunteer work to help the community. This angers the Stonecutters, who convene their World Council and consider killing Homer. Instead, Moe suggests they form a new society, the Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers.

Homer becomes despondent about losing his secret club and replaces every member with monkeys which he gets drunk and makes act out Civil War battles. Marge consoles him by telling him he is a member of a “very exclusive club”, the Simpson family. The family subjects him to some hazing and paddling.

That’s all for today, I’ll be back soon for more!

Keep Tapping

Wilki1999

Update in the app store!

Hi guys!

I’ve got to apologise for the silence around here lately, but we will be no longer silent with this brand new update hitting our games! It is the arrival of stonecutters, as mikezilla said this morning, and it is going to be a good update.

It is much like the early events for the game, but I will not give too much away just yet… i’ll let you play your games first, and give you the lowdown later on. I can reveal that the update is only currently out on the app store, and you dont need any characters free, it kicks off on the launch. No characters are needed for the first task either… I bet you can guess what it is lol!

Stay tuned, we will be bringing much more!

Keep Tapping!

Wilki1999

??? The Stonecutters ???

Looks like EA has leaked the much awaited, and anticipated arrival of the Stonecutters. Will this be level 42? Will it be the rumoured major event to help compete with Family Guy ? Will it surprise us all and feature affordable premium items and characters? Or will it just be a giant tease, for Moes new pet? There’s only one way to find out! Stay tuned, more details to come.